And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize