He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
