i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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