How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
