She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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