Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
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