you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
