Kiss
Puke
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
