I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
