I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
