I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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