i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
