By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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