this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
