It's Friday. Sex?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
