GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
