so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize