She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
