He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
