you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize