also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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