I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
