I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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