I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
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