I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I think I am morally bankrupt
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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