I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
