1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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