my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
