: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
