where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
