...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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