nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize