Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
