Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
honey bunches of taint.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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