No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
