I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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