It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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