I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
