I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
