as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
