is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize