So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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