Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
please come you make the beer taste better
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
