my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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