I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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