i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
