no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
