He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
i think i just lost a toe
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
