Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
