Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
