So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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