I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
