Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He did a backflip because drugs
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
