On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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