Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
