She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
