I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
