not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
