He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I forgot how hot balto sounded
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
