Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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