Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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