you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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