SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
