Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
