Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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