nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
