I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
