so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
