If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
