You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize