quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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