theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
