Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
